Interpersonal Gap (Wallen)

  • Refers to the degree of congruence between one person’s intentions and the effect produced in the other
  • An “Interpersonal Gap” contains two transformations (private coding) of intention
    • I know mine and must infer yours.
    • You know your own, but must infer mine.
  • We may describe the other’s effect by openly stating what feelings are aroused by their actions.cf.: Awareness Wheel
  • More often than not, we are unaware of our feelings as feelings.When this happens our feelings influence how we see the other and we label
    them or their actions in a way that express our feeling.  We do this even though we are unaware of
    our feelings or the influence they are having on us at the time.cf.: Meaning Making

 

 


Interpersonal Communication Skills

    • Use “I” Statements:
      • Lead with yourself
      • Own your own experience
      • Reinforce the fact that you create your own internal experience
      • Making references to things outside of yourself — “the external” — creates distance.

 

    • Feeling Description: Report your inner state & internal
      feelings; expressed emotions have “fat” interpretations; described
      emotions have “skinny” interpretations.
      cf.: The Skilled Facilitator

 

    • Behavior Description: Describe as seen from a video camera; report specific, observable actions without evaluation or ascribing meaning
      cf.: Feedback

 

  • Perception Check: This is my guess, am I accurate? Describe another’s feelings by transforming the experience into a statement

COMPANY PROFILE

Primary Goals sits at the intersection of three core ideas about communication:
  • Leaders create vision by communicating a compelling future to their teams.
  • Teams create success based on how effectively the communicate and coordinate with each other.
  • Entrepreneurial ventures are successful only when they communicate value to people with a concern that the business can take care of
In all cases, it’s about Conversations for Committed Results.  That’s our Primary Goal.  

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