Working With Emotional Intelligence

Author: Daniel Goleman

Outline prepared by: Megan Kennedy

I read Working with Emotional Intelligence a few months ago in preparation for Module 1.

I had a lot of time at that point and, as you’ll see, I took very thorough notes of each chapter.

Feel free to pass these notes on to whomever!

Chapter 1:

Emotional intelligence (EI) is a focus on personal qualities such as: initiative, empathy, optimism, resilience, adaptability, and persuasiveness.Having EI allows you to be an excellent leader at work.

EI counts more than IQ in job performance.

EI should be the underlying premise of all management training.

EI allows you to have empathy, rapport, perspective, and cooperation skills.

Employer’s desire:

1. Listening and oral communication.
2. Adaptability and creative response to setbacks and obstacles.
3. Personal management, confidence, motivation to work towards goals, develop career, and take pride in accomplishments.
4. Group and interpersonal effectiveness, cooperation and teamwork skills, and the ability to negotiate during disagreements.
5. Effectiveness in organization, contribution, and leadership potential.

EI is NOT about being nice and/or letting it all (feelings) hang out.

EI does not imply that women are smarter than men in terms of EI.There is no sex difference.

Chapter 2:

One aspect of EI is the ability to gauge the reaction of an audience and fine tune our presentations to have meaningful emotional impact.

Emotional Intelligence Capacities:

• Independent: each EI makes a unique contribution to job performance.
• Interdependent: each EI draws to some extent on certain others; many strong interactions.
• Hierarchical: EI capacities build upon one another.
• Necessary, but not sufficient: there is no guarantee that people will develop and display competencies.Other factors like organizational climate and job interest = manifestation.
• Generic: the general list of is applicable to all jobs, but different jobs have different demands.

The 5 Basic Emotional Intelligence Competencies:

I. Personal Competence

1. Self-Awareness: emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, self-confidence.
2. Self-Regulation: self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, innovation.
3. Motivation: achievement drive, commitment, initiative, optimism.

II. Social Competence

4. Empathy: understanding others, developing others, service oriented, leveraging diversity, political awareness
5. Social Skills: influence, communication, conflict management, leadership, change catalyst, building bonds, collaboration and cooperation, team capabilities.

Chapter 3:

Leadership: a role to get others to do their job more effectively.

For star performance in all jobs, in every field, emotional competence is 2x as important as pure cognitive abilities.

For success at the highest levels, in leadership positions, emotional competence accounts for virtually the entire advantage.

Excellence is not about technical competence, but character.

Chapter 4:

“The Reservoir of wisdom and judgment lies at the heart of self-awareness.”

Emotional Awareness: recognition of how our emotions affect our performance and the ability to use our values to guide decision-making.

Accurate Self-Assessment: A candid sense of our personal strengths and limits, a clear vision of where we need to improve, the ability to learn from experience.

Self-Confidence: the courage that comes from certainty about our capabilities, values, and goals.

1) People with the competence of self-awareness:

ü       Know which emotions they are feeling and why.

ü       Realize links between feelings and what they think, do and say.

ü       Recognize how feelings affect performance.

ü       Have guiding meaning of their values and goals.

“The Inner Rudder”: It takes a mental pause to become sensitive to the subterranean of mood – a moment we rarely take.Our feelings are always with us, but us rarely with them!We experience our moods at subtle levels before they get too strong.Self-awareness offers a sure rudder for keeping our career decisions in harmony with our deepest values.

2) People with the competence of self-assessment:

ü       Are aware of their strengths and weaknesses.

ü       Reflective, learn from experience.

ü       Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development.

ü       Able to show a sense of humor and perspective about themselves.

Blind spots: whenever someone consistently mishandles a given situation.(ie: blind ambition, unrealistic goals, relentless striving, drives others, power hungry, insatiable need for recognition, preoccupation with appearance, need to seem perfect).

SUPERIOR PERFORMERS INTENTIONALLY SEEK OUT FEEDBACK.

3) People with self-confidence:

ü       Present themselves with assurance and have “presence”

ü       Voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right.

ü       Are decisive and able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures.

ü       Are decisive without being arrogant or defensive.

Those with the greatest self-confidence are most willing to speak up and point out problems that others grumble about or quit over.

Chapter 5:

“It is not the big things that send us to the madhouse, not the loss of love, but the shoelace that breaks when there is no time left.”

Self-Regulation: Managing impulses and dealing with upsets.

• Self-Control: managing disruptive emotions and impulses effectively.
• Trustworthiness: displaying honesty and integrity.
• Conscientiousness: dependability and responsibility in fulfilling obligations.
• Adaptability: flexibility in handing change and challenges.

§         Innovation: being open to novel ideas, approaches, and new information.

1. People with Self-Control:

ü       Manage their impulsive feelings/distressing emotions well.

ü       Stay composed, positive, and unflappable even in trying moments.

ü       Think clearly and stay focused under pressure.

With relaxation techniques we are less susceptible to distress and our bouts are shorter.

The more accurately we can monitor our emotional upsets, the sooner we can recover from distress.

“Hardiness” is the ability to stay committed, feel in control, and be challenged rather than threatened by stress.

2. People with Trustworthiness and Conscientiousness:

Trustworthiness …

ü       Act ethically and are above reproach.

ü       Build trust through their reliability and authenticity.

ü       Admit their own mistakes and confront unethical actions in others.

ü       Take tough principled stands even if they are unpopular.

Conscientiousness …

ü       Meet commitments and keep promises.

ü       Hold themselves accountable for meeting objective.

ü       Is organized and careful in work.

Integrity is acting openly, honestly, and consistently.

The conscientious worker …

ü       Helps orient newcomers and updates people who return after absence.

ü       Never abuses sick leave and is at work on time.

ü       Always gets things done by the deadline.

3. People with Innovation and Adaptability:

Innovation …

ü       Seek out fresh ideas from a variety of sources.

ü       Entertain original solutions to problems.

ü       Generate new ideas.

ü       Take fresh perspectives and risks in thinking.

Adaptability…

ü       Smoothly handles multiple demands, shifting priorities, and rapid change.

ü       Adapts their responses and tactics to fit fluid circumstance.

ü       Are flexible in how they see events.

Squelches risk-taking: a) surveillance, b) evaluation, c) over-control, and d) relentless deadlines.

Chapter 6: What Moves Us.

“Flow” is when our skills are fully engaged and stretched in challenging ways.It is a state of mind while we work (or play) that moves us to do our best.It is when we are absorbed so much that we lose ourselves in work … it is being totally immersed in a task and we make the difficult look easy.

(Page 109): “Our learning edge is at the point that most fully engages our maximum skill – and that precisely matches the zone of flow.Flow naturally propels self-improvement for two reasons.1) People learn best when they are fully engaged and 2) the more a person practices a task, the better they get.The result is continual motivation (enjoying flow) and to master new challenges.”

Boredom ——————————–FLOW———————————-Immobilizing Anxiety

Bunny SlopeBlack Diamond Run20’ rocky cliff

Example: for the good snowboarder

Motivational Competencies:

• Achievement Drive: striving to improve and meet a standard of excellence.
• Commitment: embracing organization and group vision/goals.
• Initiative and Optimism: twin competencies that mobilize people to seize opportunities and allow them to take setbacks and obstacles in stride.

1. People with Achievement Drive:

ü       Are results-oriented, with a high drive to meet standards and objectives.

ü       Set challenging goals and take calculated risks.

ü       Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do better.

ü       Learn how to improve their performance.

2. People with Commitment: Send ripples of good feeling throughout an organization.

ü       Readily make sacrifices to meet a larger organizational goal.

ü       Find a sense of purpose in larger mission.

ü       Use the group’s core values in making decisions and clarifying choices.

ü       Actively seek out opportunities to fulfill the group’s mission.

Self-Awareness: is a building block of commitment.Employees who know their own guiding values purpose will have a clear, even, vivid sense about whether there is a “fit” with an organization.

3. People with Initiative and Optimism: (as opposed to hopelessness and helplessness)

Initiative …

ü       Are ready to seize opportunities.

ü       Pursue goals beyond what is required or expected of them.

ü       Cut through the red tape and bend the rules when necessary to get the job done.

ü       Mobilize others through unusual, enterprising efforts.

Optimism …

ü       Persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and setbacks.

ü       Operate from hope of success rather than fear of failure.

ü       See setbacks as due to manageable circumstances rather than a personal flaw.

Chapter 7:

Empathy: is sensing what others feel without them saying so.A lack of empathy: seeing people as stereotypes rather than unique individuals.

• Understanding Others: sensing others feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns.
• Service Orientation: anticipating, recognizing, and meeting the customer’s needs.
• Developing Others: sensing others development needs and bolstering their abilities.
• Leveraging Abilities: cultivating opportunities through diverse people.
• Political Awareness: reading the political and social currents of an organization.

1. Understanding Others:

ü       Attentive to emotional cues and listen well.

ü       Show sensitivity and understand other’s perspectives.

ü       Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings.

Empathy distress: someone who is highly empathetic is exposed to another person’s negative moods and doesn’t have the self-regulation skills to calm their own sympathetic distress.

Politics of empathy: those with little power are typically expected to sense the feelings of those who hold power, while those in power feel less obliged to be sensitive in return (race, gender, class, sexual orientation, religion, etc.).

Empathy is important as a facilitator to understand perspective, but this does not imply embracing it.

2. Service Orientation: Star performers go out of their way to make themselves available at crucial times.

ü       Understand the customer’s needs and match them to services or products.

ü       Seeks ways to increase customer satisfaction and loyalty.

ü       Gladly offers appropriate assistance.

ü       Grasps a customer’s perspective and acts as a trusted advisor.

3. Developing Others:

ü       Acknowledge and reward people’s strengths and accomplishments.

ü       Offer useful feedback and identify people’s needs for further growth.

ü       Mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments that challenge and foster personal skills.

1.       Helps employees perform better.

2.       Enhances loyalty and job satisfaction.

3.       Leads to promotions and pay increases.

4.       Lowers rate of turnover.

4. Leveraging Diversity:

ü       Respect and relate well to people from varied backgrounds.

ü       Understand diverse worldviews and are sensitive to group differences.

ü       See diversity as an opportunity, creating an environment where diverse people can thrive.

ü       Challenge bias and intolerance.

“Stereotype Threat” is an expectation of low performance that creates an atmosphere that negatively affects work abilities.

Beyond Zero Tolerance for Intolerance:

ü       Getting along with people that are different.

ü       Appreciating unique ways people operate.

ü       Seizing business opportunity the unique approaches might offer.

Political Awareness:

ü       Accurately read key power relationships

ü       Detect crucial social networks

ü       Understand the forces that shape views and actions of clients, customers, and competitors

ü       Accurately read organizational and external realities

Chapter 8: The Arts of Influence

Handling Another Person’s Emotions:

§         Influence: wielding effective tactics of persuasion.

• Communication: sending clear and convincing messages.
• Conflict Management: negotiating and resolving disagreements.
• Leadership: inspiring and guiding.
• Change Catalyst: initiating, promoting, or managing change.

1. People who have Influence: Step #1 – Build Rapport.

ü       Are skilled at winning people over.

ü       Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener.

ü       Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support.

ü       Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point.

Signs of weakness in the ability to persuade:

-failure to build a coalition or get ‘buy-in’

-over-reliance on a familiar strategy

-bull-headed promotion of point of view

-being ignored/failing to inspire interest

-having a negative impact

2. People with Communication Competencies:

ü       Are effective in give & take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message.

ü       Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly.

ü       Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully.

ü       Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad and good news.

Listening skills: asking astute questions, being open minded and understanding, not interrupting, and seeking suggestions.

Other strengths: cool, collected, calm and patient – flexible with responses.

3. People with the competencies of Conflict Management:

ü       Handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact.

ü       Spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open, and help de-escalate.

ü       Encourage debate and open discussion.

ü       Orchestrate win-win solutions.

Cooling down conflicts: calm down, tune into your feelings and express, show a willingness to work things out, use neutral language to tell point, and work together to find resolve.

4. Leadership Competencies:

ü       Articulate and arouse enthusiasm for a shared vision and mission.

ü       Step forward to lead as needed, regardless of position.

ü       Guide performance of others while holding them accountable.

ü       Lead by example.

“Extremely successful leaders exhibit a high level of positive energy that spreads throughout the organization.And the more positive the mood of a group leader, the more positive, helpful, and cooperative are those in the group.”(Page 186)

The best leaders frequently walk around and strike up conversations with their staff about family and other personal matters.

Assertive leaders say NO firmly and definitively.

5. Change Catalyst Competencies

Recognize the need for change and remove barriers.

Challenge the status quo to acknowledge the need for change.

Champion the change and enlist others in its pursuit.

Model the change expected of others.

“Transformational Leadership” is to inspire, articulate vision, intellectually and emotionally stimulating, and strong belief in vision, excite others about pursuit.Committed to nurturing relationships while leading.

Chapter 9: Collaboration, Terms, and Group IQ

Groups perform better when it is harmonious.

Social Coordination:

• Building Bonds – nurture relations
• Collaboration and Cooperation: shared goals
• Team Capabilities: synergy – group goals.

1. Building Bonds

ü       Cultivate and maintain extensive informal networks

ü       Seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial

ü       Build rapport and keep others in the loop

ü       Make and maintain personal friendships among work associates.

Networks of personal relationships are like personal capital.

2. Collaboration and Cooperation:

ü       Balance a focus on task with attention to relationships

ü       Collaborate, sharing plans, info and resources

ü       Promote a friendly, cooperative climate

ü       Spot and nurture opportunities for collaboration

3. Team Capabilities:

ü       Model team qualities like respect, helpfulness, and cooperation.

ü       Draw all members into active and enthusiastic participation.

ü       Build team identity, esprit de corps, and commitment

ü       Protect the group and its reputation, share the credit.

When teams work well, productivity rises and turnover declines.

To achieve group flow …

A daunting challenge or noble mission

Intense group loyalty – love and care for one another

Diverse range of talents and roles

Trust and selfless collaboration

Focus and passion

Fun and rewarding work

Five secrets of success

1. Rapport – introductions
2. Empathy – talk about issues you are having
3. Persuasion
4. Cooperation
5. Consensus Building

Chapter 10: The Billion Dollar Mistake

“You can have all kinds of emotions – but you don’t have to let them run you.”

Learn to be more aware of your moods, to handle distressing emotions better, and to listen and empathize.

Declarative Knowledge: knowing a concept

Procedural Knowledge: putting the concept into action.

Guidelines for Emotional Competence Training.

1.       Assess the Job. Design training on needs assessment.

2. Assess the Individual. Tailor training to individual needs.
3. Deliver Assessments. Be careful when doing the evaluation.
4. Gauge Readiness. Make sure people are ready … for the process.
5. Motivate. Clear on how the training will pay-off.
6. Make Change Self-Directed. Have people chose their goals for development.
7. Focus on clear, manageable goals. Create workable plan to meet specific competence.
8. Prevent Relapse. Use lessons to improve on next time.
9. Give Performance Feedback. Progress reviews – friends, family, mentors.
10. Encourage Practice. Use naturally arising opportunities.
11. Arrange Support. Build network of support and encouragement.
12. Provide Models. Supervisors and trainers value and model competence.
13. Encourage. Competence matters for job placement and promotion.
14. Reinforce Change. Praise, raise, and expand responsibility.
15. Evaluate. Find measure of competence.

Chapter 11: Best Practices

There are many ways in which other people know us better than we know ourselves.The best evaluation is one of multiple perspectives because it helps build self-awareness.

360-Evaluations:

1. Self-Evaluation
2. Feedback from Others
3. Assessment (Tests/Simulations)

Windows of Opportunity for Development:

3. 1. Added responsibility: promotion
   2. Life crisis: motivation for change
   3. Job troubles: motivation to boost competencies

Chapter 12: Taking the Organizational Pulse

An emotionally intelligent organization needs to come to terms with any disparities between the values it proclaims and those it lives.

What makes an organization effective? (page 282)

Emotional Self-Awareness, Achievement, Adaptability, Self Control

Integrity, Optimism, Empathy, Leveraging Diversity, Political Awareness

Influence, Building Bonds

Six Primary Ways that Organizations demoralize and demotivate employees:

Work Overload, Lack of Autonomy, Skimpy Rewards

Loss of connection, Unfairness, Value Conflicts

Chapter 13: The Heart of Performance

Intelligence: The capacity to solve problems, meet challenges, or create valued products.

§         Building Personal Working Relationships: team player, self-confidence, presence, style.Empathetic, good listener, selling an idea, maturity, and integrity.

§         Getting Things Done: self-starter, with drive, energy, and a sense of urgency that gets results.Showing judgment and common sense, being independent, entrepreneur, and imaginative, having leadership potential.

§         Personal Fit: Qualities of a friend, colleague, and partner: honest and adhering to one’s values, being motivated, being sociable, with sparkle and a sense of humor, modesty, having a full personal life and outside interests, understand the firm and its values.

Some final thoughts:

Emotional Intelligence: capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in relationships and ourselves.