Build Your Foundation as an Exemplary Leader
By Richard Strozzi-Heckler.
(Numbers in parenthesis are Kindle locations.)
Information does not change behavior. Practices do. (75)
~The body we are is the life we live.
~The self is the leader’s primary source of power.
~The body is indistinguishable from the self: it is essential to include the body if one wants to build the skills of exemplary leadership. (80)
“What does a leader do?” (120)
“What are the character values most essential to exemplary leadership?” (126)
Honesty, accountability, integrity, vision, commitment, empathy, courage, trustworthiness, and self-control showed up time and again as the hallmarks of a leader. (130)
It seems that as long as human beings have recorded their history there has been universal agreement about what kind of person is a successful leader. (134)
“How do you teach these virtues?” (136)
Exemplary leadership is a way of being, whether you’re leading others or leading your own life. Leadership can be developed; it’s a choice and an option. It’s a skill and art that can be developed through commitment and practice. Leadership is about living our purpose while engaging deeply with others. (153)
exemplary leadership; by this I mean the ability to organize and mobilize the talents and skills of others (or yourself) toward an observable result. (164)
living fully in our bodies is the essential ingredient for leadership—leading others and leading our lives. (170)
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other. John F. Kennedy (189)
“Everybody’s a leader. We all learn how to do everything.” (205)
I take a stand for community, connection, fulfillment, the full expression of our calling, and the health of our minds, bodies, and spirits. (219)
The cause of the majority of employees’ stress and lack of emotional commitment are the very managers who are supposed to be leading them. (240)
Follow This Path, Coffman and Gonzalez-Molina (243)
“employees don’t leave companies. They leave managers and supervisors whom they feel don’t care about them either as individuals or as employees.” (246)
four out of five people said they were dissatisfied at work because they didn’t think they could bring all of themselves to their job. (249)
More than ever we lead lives of ease and luxury, yet fewer and fewer individuals can claim that what they are doing produces fulfillment and satisfaction. (256)
Where is our leadership in regard to these issues of purpose, meaning, productivity, and valuing people and their well-being? (258)
Arguably the quality of life in the twenty-first century will have everything to do with our quality of leadership; and whether we like it or not, all of us are increasingly being asked to take leadership roles in our lives. (269)
leadership as a role and leadership as a way of being. (276)
those who are leading others and those who are leading their own lives. (277)
More and more people are realizing that their companies are not going to take care of their futures, and it’s necessary for them to take charge of their lives. (285)
In the Leadership Dojo, the premise is that the “self” is the leader’s primary source of power. (300)
It’s the self that is able to mobilize and motivate others, coordinate effectively with them, build trust, and generate positive moods. (302)
Leadership has nothing to do with power and rank but is a matter of self-realization; attain self-realization and the whole world is found in the self. Leadership has nothing to do with wealth and status, but is a matter of harmony. Lao Tzu (308)
the self is the fundamental power of a leader and the self is indistinguishable from the body. (341)
the body is a manifestation of a person’s philosophy. The embodied self is the primary source of power for a leader, and it can be trained through practices. (343)
if we look at those times of crisis when we are called upon to act ethically and morally, what is observable is a dynamic unification of mind, body, and spirit—a presence—that acts with dignity, directness, and decisiveness. (365)
By observing how one is in her body, we can tell a great deal about who she is as a person. (373)
the development of a Leadership Presence, through the cultivation of the self, is not to be confused with self-esteem training, personality development, or self-improvement seminars. (380)
“The Great American experiment of Me,” has made it fashionable to dismiss, out of hand, the path of self-mastery in business, military, and government because it has come to represent something soft, or airy-fairy, in the public eye. (384)
Leaders cultivate the self in order to better serve others (388)
In the path of self-cultivation, the emphasis is not concerned with “getting better,” fixing oneself, or indulging one’s ego, but performing with mastery. (393)
The leadership path of self-cultivation is concerned with developing leaders who embody the ethics of individual responsibility, social commitment, and a moral and spiritual vision. (397)
Ethos implies that the fundamental and distinguishing elements of an individual’s character, as observed in the person’s countenance, have the power to mobilize and change another’s outlook and performance. (403)
Ethos arouses respect, mobilization, and action. (410)
it is a leadership virtue to master one’s personal wishes, cravings, and desires for the sake of a larger commitment. (421)
he was now at a crossroads that required him to transform his leadership style … or fail. (451)
how to receive and deliver assessments that produced action and collaboration. (515)
team members practiced speaking to each other from a centered presence in which they learned to pay attention to mood, dignity, listening, competency, and capacity. (516)
If you want one year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want ten years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want one hundred years of prosperity, grow people. Chinese proverb (546)
of course, we don’t physically grab people at work, but we are grabbed by a look, a tone, a particular stance, even a request or assessment. (582)
Everyone completes the program by stating their commitments and their moods. (605)
When the uninitiated sarcastically regard this learning as the “soft” skills of leadership, they quite perfectly confirm their ignorance about a centuries-old practice that exists solely to produce mastery in a chosen discipline. (622)
The dojo is a place where we align with our purpose, cultivate the self, learn new skills, and unite with the spirit through rigorous and self-generative practices. (628)
it wasn’t assumed that the sensibility and skills necessary to be a warrior could be casually absorbed through the culture. What was required was a place where one could rigorously learn and train with competent teachers and other dedicated students working toward a common goal. (643)
A dojo is a space of commitment in which people engage in a collective practice for learning and transformation. (667)
Leaders look for the opportunity to declare the dojo space in which they can learn and help mentor and coach those who follow them (673)
Exemplary leaders do more than talk a good game. Their presence and actions back what comes out of their mouths (681)
a fellow student from New Guinea said, “In my country we say that knowledge is only a rumor until it’s in the muscle.” (684)
Leadership is about taking skillful action, producing results, and mobilizing others, not simply acquiring academic knowledge. (686)
We learn through our bodies, through recurrent practices, and learning means being able to take new actions. Leadership is a learnable skill (688)
There has been, for example, little recognition given to someone who could produce value through the way they manage mood, how they skillfully coordinate with others to achieve a desired goal, or their ability to ignite the passion and purpose of others. (695)
Theory has become more important than action, domination more crucial than cooperation, and ideas regarded more favorably than relationships. (707)
We are now at a historical transition in which it is crucial that learning be placed in the context of action, as a way of being in the world, instead of simply being intellectually smart. We challenge the notion that cognitive understanding produces the ability to take effective action. (713)
This willingness to abuse our bodies is the genesis of abusing other bodies. To solve the many dilemmas we now face, it’s important to have leaders who take action from their hearts and guts as well as their minds. (721)
Learning is possible in a lecture hall, but it’s academic knowledge, not embodied knowledge. (734)
learning in the Leadership Dojo leads to the capacity to take new actions as a leader. (740)
Where it was once sufficient to be competent at the same job over a lifetime, we are now required to continually learn new skills, to adapt to people with widely different backgrounds, and to be flexible enough to change roles, job positions, and organizational directions many times in our careers. (752)
What is the cost of not being in a dojo? As a leader, is there a place that you declare a dojo? (763)
military jumpmasters reply to the question, “How long do I have to pull the ripcord of my parachute?” “The rest of your life,” is the jumpmaster’s answer. (817)
“Enlightenment is an accident, but practice makes you accident-prone.” (832)
We are passionate about what we practice if it’s relevant to the life we want to create. Exemplary leaders are passionate about creating life-affirming futures (837)
Practice is formalized in sports and the performance arts; why not in leadership, in business, in government? (839)
The practices of the Leadership Dojo are designed to support the commitments of the participants; therefore Sylvia first had to declare her commitments, what she wanted to accomplish. (861)
me more, thus making us more effective in taking action.” Practice (879)
Note: relates to the DECLARE AND FULFILL practice / presentation. Edit
We ask people to say, “I am a commitment to …” instead of “I’m committed to …” as a reminder that we are the commitment, we strive to embody its value and contribution, and we’re fully accountable for its outcome. The commitment lives inside us and moves out from our center. (891)
Sylvia. This required that the assessors reflect on certain questions: What (905)
Note: assessment questions for the practice Edit
the Leadership Dojo revolves around engaging in practices with others, not simply digesting lectures or watching slide presentations. (912)
The Leadership Dojo is a place where you can safely and rigorously practice, with others and a teacher, those things that will help you fulfill on the future you seek. (983)
by literally touching someone, we learn directly what is too much and what is too little in regard to influencing that person. (989)
it’s the same if we’re physically being touched or if we’re “touched” in a conversation with someone. (992)
touched or if we’re “touched” in a conversation with someone. Practices (994)
Note: Practices Edit
1 A trained attention, 2 A centered presence, and 3 An embodied commitment. (1016)
any behavioral or skill set change is primarily a function of one’s ability to focus one’s attention on specific distinctions, closely enough, often enough, over an extended period of time. (1027)
When we have control over our attention, we have more choice, and choice increases our options and our power. (1030)
“Pay attention to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.” Being mindful of the intention and purpose of the activity or practice adds energy and momentum to it. (1043)
work life and how I am at home as well.” Practices (1072)
Note: Practices Edit
To learn new skills and behaviors, it’s vital that you practice in the environment in which you want these new skills to appear. (1080)
Practices at work, then, are simply practicing what it is that you’re cultivating in yourself. (1086)
practice of centering every time she passed through a doorway in her building. (1087)
under pressure, 99.9 percent of us will precipitate to our level of practice. When we’re under pressure, stress, conflict, or some form of transition, we will inevitably fall to the level of our training and rarely, if ever, rise to our level of expectation. (1108)
The claim of the Leadership Dojo is that leadership is a skill and art that can be trained through recurrent practices, (1113)
It’s possible to strengthen a muscle such as a bicep; it is equally possible to train the muscles of integrity, confidence, collaboration, courage, and empathy. (1114)
we are always practicing. In other words, the body is incapable of not practicing. And what we practice we become. (1117)
The way we comport ourselves is a direct reflection of what we’ve been practicing. (1125)
It’s necessary, nay critical, that emerging leaders commit to practices that allow them to embody new ways of being and acting. (1141)
A reflex is hardwired in our nervous system. (1147)
A habit is a behavior that is regular, repetitive, and unconscious. (1149)
A routine is the way a set of tasks is arranged that is typically repetitive and unvarying. (1157)
A practice is a conscious choice we make to train ourselves so we will behave and act in a particular way so that it becomes embodied or part of who we are. (1164)
A generative practice is a conscious choice to embody a behavior that can be used in whatever situation we find ourselves. (1168)
It is only as a body that we are present and make sense to others. (1194)
The body is not only central to our capacity to fully live our lives and to lead others; it’s inseparable from the self. (1202)
Our educational system reflects this tradition of separating mind and body, spirit and matter, emotions and self, and the list goes on, by virtually eliminating a curriculum that places the body as the locus of experience. (1227)
If we think of the body as only a footnote to our lives we cannot fully grasp who we are, what we are, the kind of world we live in, and why we yearn for what we yearn for. (1235)
The body I speak of expresses our history, commitments, dignity, wounds, authenticity, identity, roles, moral strength, moods, emotional resilience, and aspirations as a unique quality of aliveness we call the “self.” (1238)
The way we shape ourselves will have people move toward us, away from us, against us, or be indifferent to us (1267)
The self is not what we think or say about ourselves, but how we act, and how others perceive us. (1270)
Consider the skill of creating trust, an essential leadership quality for motivating others. We may read a book on trust and understand it intellectually, but if we do not embody this understanding we will not produce trust in others. (1280)
Somatics declares the human form as the space in which humans act, relate, think, feel, and express emotions and moods. In this interpretation, the body is the field in which we build trust and intimacy, produce meaningful work, create family, community, and teams, bring forth a world in language, and live our spiritual longing. (1303)
To work somatically in creating leadership is to work with the unity of the human organism. (1306)
action is not necessarily movement. Action is connected with a powerful story of care. In other words, if our actions are not directly connected to a narrative of what matters to us, and why it matters, we are simply performing tasks, going about our days tediously completing a checklist. (1353)
When we’re connected to why we’re doing something through a narrative that tells us “for the sake of what” we’re taking the action, we’re more effective, our mood is more generative, we’re focused, and we operate in a larger horizon of time. (1355)
parable of the stonecutters (1375)
“I’m carving a piece of stone.” (1378)
“I’m building a wall,” (1380)
“I’m creating a cathedral.” (1381)
When we’re connected to our activities by a story, by a vision of what is important that drives our intention, we say we’re “in action.” (1399)
If you want to lead, know what you’re doing with your energy. Lao Tzu (1406)
Managing our energy falls into the domain of mood. Mood is our orientation to a given situation. It’s our disposition and outlook on life. (1410)
Mood is different than emotion in that moods live in a longer horizon of time, while emotions usually exist for a shorter span of time. (1413)
if we’re resigned, for example—it will be difficult to generate sufficient passion and energy to move a project or enterprise forward, either on our own merits or by motivating others. (1421)
If leaders are blind to the domain of mood, it’s as if they’re navigating a ship without a compass. (1429)
To be an exemplary leader it’s necessary to take on new practices that will move us out of our heads and into our bodies (1445)
it is how we are, our living presence, that allows effective coordination to take place. (1453)
if the people are not present, open, and connected to others, they will not be able to coordinate in a way that moves the action forward with everyone’s dignity intact. (1455)
Coordination is about taking action; it’s not about someone repeating verbatim what you said to them. (1462)
The surest way to be present to ourselves, and therefore to others, is to live in our bodies, which is to live inside our own experience. (1467)
a person may say he’s committing to something, but when we look at his body we can see that he may not be able to manage the commitment; that is, although he may want to fulfill it, he may not embody the competency to do what he promises. (1470)
from a somatic point of view there’s a way of feeling into someone to help determine the best way to coordinate with that person, or not. Coordination in this sense has to do with the unification of speech, action, and mood. (1477)
William Shakespeare, “By my actions, teach my mind.” (1500)
It’s important to remember that these men and women didn’t begin by thinking they were going to change the world. They were people very much like you and me who found themselves passionate about the issues of their time. (1537)
Note: whole section is essential Edit
Many people “think” they are entitled to dignity, and “believe in the right to dignity,” but they are not engaged in the embodied practices that produce dignity. (1545)
Dignity, in other words, is not an ideal or mental construct but an embodiment of what we care about. In the Leadership Dojo, we call this embodying a “stand.” (1549)
We make a distinction between embodying a stand and taking a position for a specific reason. When we take a position we live in a shorter horizon of time than when we embody a stand. (1552)
When we embody a stand, we are the stand. It’s not a thing, issue, or project that is apart from us. Our very identity is the stand. Our passion is the heart of the stand, our thinking is the intention and design of the stand, and our hands and legs take action for the stand. (1562)
The seduction of money, career, sex, or image doesn’t take someone away from his or her stand. An embodied stand is the ground from which you express your spirited commitment to dignity. (1572)
Embodying a stand in language is the narrative you have about what is important to you. This narrative expresses what you organize your life around. It’s the result of reflecting deeply about what matters to you and what you see possible in the historical time that you live. It’s not something you have automatically inherited from others, nor is it a novel idea that will bring opportunity your way, nor is it wishful thinking. Embodying a stand in language expresses your values and it produces purpose, meaning, and association with others. When we speak our stand there’s no stammering, hesitation, or confusion. Speaking our stand is both a bridge and a boundary in that it builds alliances with some and separates us from others. Our stand will be seen as an invitation to join or as a line that is not to be crossed. Whether others agree or not, they will find us believable, coherent, and committed when we embody a stand in language. We are the embodiment of this narrative. Embodying a stand in action means that what you do, the activities you’re involved in, the actions you take are consistent with what you say. (1576)
Note: excellent description of a STAND – what it really is, and is not Edit
In his groundbreaking book Silent Messages, Albert Mehrabian, professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA, asked the question, “What makes someone credible?” or “Why do we trust someone?” (1612)
how we are is far more influential and expressive than what we’re saying. They tell us that our presence is language and there is always sensitivity to who we are at a cellular and energetic level. (1623)
when we are our message, when we embody our values, we are at the height of our power and influence. (1626)
This idea that we can influence others by trying on the right “body language”—as one would try on a fashionable spring coat—trivializes the basic intuition humans have about authenticity and mastery. (1635)
five principles that are the ground for a Leadership Presence. These principles are: 1 Centering, 2 Facing, 3 Extending, 4 Entering, and 5 Blending. (1650)
Think of centering, facing, extending, entering, and blending as five notes that, if played at the same time, create a chord. (1656)
Centering is the process of collecting ourselves. It’s a way of being with ourselves that brings us present not only to the world but also to what we care about and to our purpose for living. (1669)
When we become present we gain self-knowledge, which is the first step in leadership. As Sun Tzu, the legendary Chinese general and military strategist said, “First know yourself and then know your enemy.” (1673)
When we clamp down on our jaw and gnash our teeth we’re usually chewing on something at an emotional or mental level. (1696)
When you organize yourself this way—body relaxed, breath dropped, mind free of the dizzying circularity of thought—it’s clinically impossible to be anxious. (1719)
If we’re not centered physically, it’s much more difficult to attend to the demands of leadership, and we appear disorganized, lacking a compelling presence, and out of balance. (1729)
Once we’ve centered ourselves bodily—that is, become present—we can now center on what matters to us. (1744)
When we center on a commitment, it expands our horizon of time and we open our future. (1749)
In the Leadership Dojo, we begin where the traditional processes end. After presenting what is to be learned, why it’s important to us, and what it looks like, we begin the practices that allow us to fulfill on our vision. This is the critical difference in learning: that is, being able to actually take new actions, distinct from simply collecting new information. This comes from recurrent practices. (1765)
The embodied experience of Spirit ties our common sense in knots—we’re in choice, but out of control; disorganized, but stable; still while in movement; knowing without understanding; listening without ears; surrendering to be victorious; giving in to succeed; dying to live. This paradox of embodied Spirit is often described in terms of grace, awe, unity, reverence, presence, wonder, and beauty. (1806)
Henri Bergson writes, “The intellect is characterized by a natural inability to know life.” (1814)
It’s true that competency is developed through years of training and experience; it’s also true that technique and training alone do not accomplish mastery. The step from competency to mastery requires that we open to an energy greater than our personality and learned techniques. This energy is what we call “Spirit.” (1850)
Without first grounding somatically, people often hold Spirit as simply a good idea and not a direct, lived experience. If we don’t center first in the body we’re too likely to go off into la-la land and live only in the concept of energy and Spirit. Embodiment makes Spirit direct, applicable, and real. (1859)
larger energy enter into us through our practice of choice. Practices (1867)
Note: Practices Edit
The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Dwight D. Eisenhower (1879)
Every time we stand we reenact the moment when our early ancestors stood and became Homo sapiens. We live the story of our species every morning when we rise out of bed. To be upright and face the world is an evolutionary moment in which we embody the human capacity for choice; we are asked to be equal to this challenge every day. (1887)
While centering is a commitment to be in the game of life, facing is a commitment to a specific aspect of our life: a situation, a conversation, an enterprise, a person, task, relationship, or unresolved issues. (1891)
that we do not truly square off to and face. Practice (1901)
Note: Practice Edit
Children who are not taught to face others and themselves become the adults who shy away from difficult situations, are conflict averse, or compensate by being belligerent and pushy. (1911)
By noticing what we do in our bodies, we have a more direct access to our mental and emotional state and therefore more choice about shifting it. (1916)
Facing brings us into a direct relationship with what is occurring instead of wishing or hoping it to be some way other than it is. (1920)
facing and how internal and external challenges are often connected. David (1931)
Note: Key story of the gap between security and passion. Edit
The point at which David knew what he wanted to do but found he was incapable of taking the necessary action is pivotal in embodied learning. It’s the difference between knowing and acting. (1962)
Insights, which are important, live in the cognitive domain; action lives in the body. Because we’re taught, and then assume, that insight is the end goal, it’s not uncommon that we fall into shame and guilt when we can’t act on our insights. When we’re captured by these emotions, our energy, time, and attention go into managing the shame instead of taking action. A primary premise of the Leadership Dojo is that new practices are required to take new actions. When we fully comprehend this, we gracefully allow the time to practice so that we can embody new behaviors. (1965)
Note: Why the gap exists between insight and action. What is missing are practices. Edit
these lines but was a bit reluctant to voice it. Practices (1985)
Note: Practices Edit
A hallmark of exemplary leaders is the ability to “read between the lines,” to attend deeply to the concerns, intentions, motivations, desires of others. (2003)
synaesthesia, the synthesis of all the senses as they align and function together to create the organ of attention. (2007)
Charles Darwin said, “Attention or conscious concentration on almost any part of the body produces some direct physical effect on it.” (2023)
From a somatic point of view, imagination is not a mental construct but an attribute of synaesthesia. (2035)
most people don’t extend because they are either too self-absorbed or they’re fearful of a level of contact and intimacy that goes deeper than surface level. (2055)
Think of entering, or irimi, as a movement toward life that’s based in wisdom and compassion, not hope or fantasy. When we enter in this way we’re declaring, “I am here to engage with you in a responsible, ethical manner. I come in a spirit of choice and collaboration. I acknowledge this is a risk for both of us, but I’m committed to moving us toward a mutuality of maturity, connection, and power.” (2175)
In the conversational domain, entering is making requests, assessments, declines, insists, and standards for behavior. (2250)
To blend effectively one must act from a state of feeling and sensing; this requires us to live fully in our body. Blending asks us to be with someone in an extraordinarily intimate fierceness, to join with others in order to negotiate separateness, to transform aggression from discord to accord. This doesn’t mean compliance, acquiescence, or submission but entering into the conflict with the commitment to see the world from the other’s point of view and to legitimatize their perspective. This doesn’t necessarily mean accepting their beliefs or values, but to accept that this is their worldview. (2295)
It’s part of our genetic code and spiritual inheritance to join with others for belonging, support, security, reciprocity, and love. (2332)
Because our worldview is so intimately connected to our somatic structure, a feeling of either well-being or terror will often accompany this disorganization and subsequent reorganization. In the transition from one body to another, it’s as if our very existence, our sense of self, is in question and it’s necessary that we engage in a new worldview. (2465)
blending is not necessarily agreeing with someone or submitting to what they want. Blending is the skill of listening deeply to the concerns of others and then making the most appropriate moves that take the action forward. (2504)
It’s only when we truly care about others and are genuinely curious about what matters to them that the possibilities of strong partnerships and sustainable relationships come to life. (2509)