The “background / statement of purpose” section for this page came from Megan Kennedy.
The list of questions was the byproduct of a brainstorm from the 1st and 2nd year LGBT group from the Winter 2003 class of LIOS.
Setup:
- All were made aware of the event through the day, in morning announcements, and at lunch.
- A sign was posted outside that those coming late were free to enter, but please be quite.
- When it started, the group was seated in a circle.
- Norms are so strong to ‘open’ the circle when others arrive that it was disruptive.
It is recommend that you keep chairs in a tight circle, but leave some empty chairs so that others may join, and keep those chairs by the door for late-comers.
Background / Introductory Statement of Purpose:
I remember back at Module One, examining the model of Bell Hooks, and talking about diversity in the abstract. The model was really important for my class to examine, but I was hungry for my class to talk about the diversity alive among us. Since Module One, this has started to happen.
The LGBTQ group decided, with feedback from members of the greater community, to create a safe space for this to happen even more. Tonight we are going to talk about specific issues related to sexual orientation: we don’t all have
the same story, nor identity.
There are some things that are common to the gay experience.
There are some things that are common among all people who love
And there are some things that are unique for each one of us.
These are the types of things we are going to uncover tonight.
What I’m excited for, is that I see this program as an opportunity to be curious about one another and to be curious about ourselves; to find both the similarities and differences alive in our class. It is not the sum of all the diversity work we need to do nor is it the end.
I hope this is not a token workshop, but rather a conversation we have during the course of our experiences at LIOS: fluid with the rest of the learning we do. I see this evening as an opportunity to put the magnifying glass on issues of sexual orientation and to make it okay to ask questions. It is my hope that the questions and learning from tonight be useful to us all as we become counselors, consultants, and leaders in this world.
Instructions to the group
- There are going to be a series of statements read aloud by various people within the group.
- When a statement is read, if you personally identify with that statement, in this moment, please stand.
- For all of the questions, we are all invited to notice both who is standing, as well as who is not.
- Make note of what it means to you to be standing when others are not, or to be seated when others are standing.
- Those standing will then sit, and in a moment or two, the next question will be read.
- Some of the questions will be easier than others, some will be serious, and some more humorous.
- While on occasion, there may be some laughter, this is intended to be a predominantly silent activity.
- Some of the question may be a little ambiguous, and you may find yourself wanting to clarify the question before determining whether to stand or not. While that is understandable, we invite you to just be aware of what that ambiguity feels like for you in the moment, and make your choice to stand or not based on how the question lands on you personally, in this moment.
- There will be time towards the end when the event will be opened up to your own questions from the group.
- Following that, we will wrap up the activity with more group involvement on what the process was like for everyone here.
Questions
- I am single.
- I am in a relationship.
- I went on a date this week.
- I am attracted to men.
- I am attracted to women.
- I am attracted to men and women.
- I like being single.
- I have a really good pick-up line if anyone is interested!
- I know someone who identifies as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, and/or Queer.
- One or both of my parents identify as Lesbian, Gay, or Bisexual.
- I have a child who is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, or Questioning.
- I am currently in love.
- Currently, I feel heartbroken.
- I identify as Lesbian.
- I identify as Gay.
- I identify as Straight.
- My sexual identity feels fluid.
- I have been told that in regards to my sexual orientation, “I am in a phase.”
- I have lost a friend or family member over whom I have chosen to love.
- I have been refused housing because of my choice in partners.
- I have been told I’m going to hell because of the partners I have chosen.
- I have been told that in regards to my sexual orientation that, “I will come around and make the right decision.”
- I am hyper aware of the pronoun I use to describe my partner.
- I have witnessed a hate crime.
- I am uncomfortable expressing my affection to my partner in public.
- I am afraid to show affection in public.
- I have lived a double life to protect myself from being discovered as a sexual minority.
- Others often question my gender: is that a he or a she?
- I worry or have worried that my parents will disown me because of my sexual preference.
- My parents have disowned me because of my choices in partners.
- I worry my kids could be beaten up at school for who I love.
- I have had a friend die of AIDS.
- I have been denied service because of a perceived difference.
- I do not have the privilege of being legally married to my partner.
- My job does not offer health benefits to my same sex partner.
- My partner may not receive inheritance from me when I die.
- My partner may be denied the right to visit/make decisions for me in the hospital.
- I have been told, “I don’t think of you in that way.”
- I have been yelled at on the street from some perceived difference.
- People have asked if they could watch my partner and me have sex.
- I hesitate to invite my partner to work occasions and weddings as my date.
- I am proud to be me.
Creating space for other questions
At this point, it was opened up for others members to provide their own
questions to see the responses, providing both disclosure via the question, and revelation
via who chose to stand in response.
End of questions, reflecting on the process
<closing statements>
Closing song (lead by Gaelen Billingsly)
May the longtime sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the clear light within you
Guide your way on
Guide your way on
Guide your way on