Compare with Rogers
| Empathy | Understanding The ability to understand another person’s state, condition, frame of reference or point-of-view The Helpee believes “you are in my skin.” The Helper strives for an accurate sense of the other’s experience”joining” note: before empathizing with the assumed reality on the other side; check first, then provide honest “moccasin” feeling. |
| Respect | Caring for Someone Responding in a way that conveys caring for the other Responding in a way that conveys a belief in their capacity to do something about their situation |
| Concreteness | Being Specific Moving from abstractions to specifics The more concrete one is the more likely they are to connect with their experience |
| Genuineness | Being Real The Helper is being at home with themselves, here and now The Helper comes into direct personal encounter with the Helpee and responds authentically The Helper reports out their internal states [similar to “openness vs. personalness”, relates to the context of the exchange, not content] |
| Immediacy | What’s happening now? Helper’s ability to discuss with the Helpee what’s going on between them Helper’s ability to discuss with the Helpee where s/he stands in relationship to Helpee |
| Confrontation | Telling it like it is Pointing out incongruent; discrepancy between worlds, feelings and actions An invitation to examine the behavior and change it if necessary |
| Self-Disclosure | Volunteering personal information Helper communicates an openness to volunteering personal information in accord with the Helpee’s interest and concerns |
Start: Joining with the other
- Empathy
- Respect
- Concreteness
Later: Initiating (Joining has started)
- Genuineness
- Immediacy
- Confrontation
- Self-Disclosure